Dogs will bark at anything

A leaf falling from a tree
bark

The sun rising
BaarrK

The moon
BbaaarkK

Their tail
barK

The force of gravity
bbbbarrrkkk

Their own bark

Bark!
Dog, “What the heck was that?”

Bark
Dog, “What the …?”

Bark?
Dog, “Whaaa …?”

What the hell was that?
Cat, “Who cares. I’m grooming!”

Now be honest.  Aren’t clowns scary.  Forget the propaganda, the hype, the hyperbole.  They are weird, strange, bizarre.  They are walking corpses with a lipstick fetish.  They are morbid, heavy footed zombies who have a psychopathic compulsion to stuff themselves into tiny automobiles.  They have big red noses that beep.  This is not Dr. Seuss.  It’s Dr. Demento.  And they always seem so sad looking.  Face painted blood red tears even.  Funny?

Now give them even just one balloon, and suddenly they are not quite so scary.  Their sadness has a certain buoyancy.  Give them three or four and they are the hit of your kid’s birthday party.  As long as the party doesn’t last too long.
Enough balloons and you can imagine the balloons lifting the clown up, up and away.  Perhaps to balloon school or a heavy date with a Red Skelton look alike.

Blow up some balloons.  The time is ripe.  Organize a clown boycott today!